This week's itinerary (why is the spelling so confusing!!!)

Feb 9: SLAP DAY - Find a hottie, Line maaro, Thappad khao
Feb 10: CHOCOLATE DAY - Gift the girl a box of her fav chocolates, after removing one 4 myself
Feb 11: FRIENDSHIP DAY - Add her as a friend on Facebook, Orkut, Myspace, blah & blah
Feb 12: ROSE DAY - Surprise her with a lovely bouquet of roses (real or virtual).
Feb 13: KISS DAY - Have your 1st kiss (real or virtual).
Feb 14: VALENTINE DAY - Take her to a park and put your arms around her. Then wait for Ram Sene to come and marry you off.

Bingo!!!

This is for all the HIMYM fans (If you are not, you could use this as a guide to the top colleges in India. The middle one being the all time best.) So I was wondering what the Indian version of the Top 25 Colleges to Bang Bingo would be like....

So here you go :-

The rules are simple. When you have slept with any hottie who hails from any of the above colleges, then mark that college.

BINGO = 5 in a row in any direction - up, down, across, diagonal, upside down, missionary, etc.

p.s. I agree a special prize has to be given for those who manage a Bingo with the centre included :-P Btw u can always recommend me colleges which i have missed and definitely deserved to be here.

Smart breast implants

After watching quite some adult entertainment over the years and over-sized fake breasts filling almost all of them, it struck me - "Why can't we implant something into those silicon thingies?!?" I know its sounds whacko :D But really imagine having an mp3 player/ phone/ anything else packed into those mammoth sized breast implants...

Hmm...

Sorry i was getting carried away :) But as it turns out as all things i think, even this crazy idea was thought before me by some whackjob at "BT Laboratories". They thought of placing the mp3 player in one boob and the storage device on the other. Bluetooth connectivity will ensure that the headphones will be the only thing you will require. And in their words - "It is now very hard for me to think of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful."

But before i found out that there does exist a world filled with whackjobs like me, I was really thinking through the practicalities of such a thing. It seems over 3,00,000 women (including men who wanna be women) a year get breast augmentations in the US alone. Take the whole world and that leads to atleast 5,00,000/year. That seems like a decent target market.

But more importantly lets think of how this thing should work. I was thinking that one could easily squeeze in a cellular device in one and the mp3 player + storage in the other. So you could have one of those futuristic looking headphones on your ears which will let you play music or take calls all connected through bluetooth. But how does one dial numbers or select songs. This is quite a tricky business. The BT labs guy was suggesting a wrist device, but i doubt women will ever wear bulky wrist devices. The best system would be voice-enabled; however present systems are very poor and would not be cost effective. Hence, I believe we can have a touch based mechanism, similar to the click-wheel, on the bluetooth headset. But how do u know what you are selecting - the results will be returned through voice of course! But indeed this system is insanely boring, one definitely needs a simple voice-enabled system.

So there you go you get a free mp3 player & phone with your boob job. Tada!!! Even the poor porn star can tune into her favorite radio channel while she gets humped.

On a more serious note, one could embed even smarter devices like sensors and gps units. The sensors could monitor presence of breast cancer and heart rates. And when one goes into a critical condition, a distress signal can be sent to medical authorities along with GPS coordinates.

So it all makes a lot of sense right - nah i m just kidding; i wrote this post just to have a great laugh myself. But you never know..... There will be a day when every woman will get a smart breast implant once they get over 18 or something and the world will become a very beautiful place indeed ;-)






















p.s. : The author of this post has no affixation with over-sized breasts. Seriously...

A movie and a game based on a movie

The name of the movie which i have been trying to recollect for ages.... "Strange Days" (1995). Oh my what a movie, sorry what an idea!!! The concept is mind-blowing. A device which records all the sensations and neural activity of an individual and lets anybody replay all the events experienced.

SPOILER AHEAD: This concept is taken to the extreme in which a girl is tied to a bed by the assailant (man) who is recording his brain. Then he slits the girls throat and places another device which would play the recording live on her brain; so whatever the man experiences, the woman would. As the girl bleeds, the man starts raping the girl. The girl, oblivious to the blood oozing from her throat, experiences the cruel and chilling pleasure of a rapist. Hence, when the the man reaches his climax so has the woman and with the sudden jerks she experiences she dies.
SPOILER ENDS.

The weird thing is that although there is no nudity in the movie on TV, its U rated on Tata Sky. I can bet you don't want to be watching this movie with your kids, parents or girlfriend ;-)

On a much much lighter note i watched "Ghajini". Class movie! Aamir Khan is one of those rare actors who has talent. The remaining Khans are all just wasting our time if not theirs. But i was wondering how amazing it would be to be play a game based on the movie. Unfortunately as always i wasn't the only smart ass who realized this as FXLabs Studios will be developing it for Eros International. The graphics and animation seem to be not bad.

But what i am all enthu about is the gameplay. What is it to develop a game in which the protagonist suffers from short-term memory loss, while most gamers suffer from no such weakness :-P It beats me how can one make an engaging game which can capture the essence of the film. Well one things for sure it will be one heck of an action game and i would luv it to have much more blood n gore than the movie :-P Mwuhahahhahaha

The best part would be if the unlockables would be the dance sequences and item numbers. There should be close-ups and camera hovering while the 3D Jiah Khan (with even larger assets) and Asin perform dance steps. YUM!!!

The game i heard was to be released on the 28th Dec but ab tak koi news hi nahi :( I am sure i will buy it even if it gets half good reviews.

Mallu beauty and wittyness

Kudos to Parvathy Omanakuttan for grabbing the runner-up title in the Miss world International. Sad she couldn't get the title but it makes me immensely proud that a Mallu girl from Mumbai actually got so far. Its gotta be her amazing wittyness and sharp mind and also her lovely smile.

All that remains is getting her phone no. :-P

Holidays

I believe that holidays are that time of the year, when i learn the most. It gives me time to think and reflect upon a wide spectrum of issues and wonders of this world. I get to watch such amazing movies and i have such a great fancy for watching movies. They are just so fantastic!! Its one of the purest and most beautiful ways of putting an idea across. :D

btw u must watch "The Holiday" - great movie!!! The perfect Christmas movie.

The Return of Christ

Any religious Christian (one who visits the church regularly) would know that the priest always talks about the return of our savior Jesus Christ and that we await his return. The Son of Man himself said that he would return to chose the "good" from the "bad". And that there would be very few who would still be following the principles he laid with sincerity, as most of them would be filled with evil spirits of greed, hatred and jealousy.

However, this makes me wonder if that this is all just a figurative way of telling us the people who inhabit this world, to transform our fellow inhabitants and lead them to to the correct path and rid this world of all evils.

To understand what i am saying recollect the Last Supper, [Matthew 26:26-28]

While they were eating, Jesus took a piece of bread, gave a prayer of thanks, broke it, and gave it to his disciples. "Take and eat it," he said; "this is my body."

Then he took a cup, gave thanks to God, and gave it to them. "Drink it, all of you," he said; "this is my blood, which seals God's covenant, my blood poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

And we all imitate this ritual every Sunday to receive the holy communion. Hence, we all have been blessed with a part of Christ's very own body, blood and soul. Hence, when the Son of Man says that he shall return to this world, what he would have meant is that through the collective spirit of all those who protect his spirit in themselves, he shall return to once again rule this world. Not that he would appear in flesh and blood a single human, but as a collective spirit to rid the world of all evils.

So, we all must get rid of all ills that have plagued our society and bring about the change that has been eagerly awaited for centuries. It is for us to bring change to this world and when we all put a collective effort, with the blessings of our Lord, that change will sweep this world so rapidly that it will take those filled with evil by surprise.

To that day i dream of....