Smart breast implants

After watching quite some adult entertainment over the years and over-sized fake breasts filling almost all of them, it struck me - "Why can't we implant something into those silicon thingies?!?" I know its sounds whacko :D But really imagine having an mp3 player/ phone/ anything else packed into those mammoth sized breast implants...

Hmm...

Sorry i was getting carried away :) But as it turns out as all things i think, even this crazy idea was thought before me by some whackjob at "BT Laboratories". They thought of placing the mp3 player in one boob and the storage device on the other. Bluetooth connectivity will ensure that the headphones will be the only thing you will require. And in their words - "It is now very hard for me to think of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful."

But before i found out that there does exist a world filled with whackjobs like me, I was really thinking through the practicalities of such a thing. It seems over 3,00,000 women (including men who wanna be women) a year get breast augmentations in the US alone. Take the whole world and that leads to atleast 5,00,000/year. That seems like a decent target market.

But more importantly lets think of how this thing should work. I was thinking that one could easily squeeze in a cellular device in one and the mp3 player + storage in the other. So you could have one of those futuristic looking headphones on your ears which will let you play music or take calls all connected through bluetooth. But how does one dial numbers or select songs. This is quite a tricky business. The BT labs guy was suggesting a wrist device, but i doubt women will ever wear bulky wrist devices. The best system would be voice-enabled; however present systems are very poor and would not be cost effective. Hence, I believe we can have a touch based mechanism, similar to the click-wheel, on the bluetooth headset. But how do u know what you are selecting - the results will be returned through voice of course! But indeed this system is insanely boring, one definitely needs a simple voice-enabled system.

So there you go you get a free mp3 player & phone with your boob job. Tada!!! Even the poor porn star can tune into her favorite radio channel while she gets humped.

On a more serious note, one could embed even smarter devices like sensors and gps units. The sensors could monitor presence of breast cancer and heart rates. And when one goes into a critical condition, a distress signal can be sent to medical authorities along with GPS coordinates.

So it all makes a lot of sense right - nah i m just kidding; i wrote this post just to have a great laugh myself. But you never know..... There will be a day when every woman will get a smart breast implant once they get over 18 or something and the world will become a very beautiful place indeed ;-)






















p.s. : The author of this post has no affixation with over-sized breasts. Seriously...