Smart breast implants

After watching quite some adult entertainment over the years and over-sized fake breasts filling almost all of them, it struck me - "Why can't we implant something into those silicon thingies?!?" I know its sounds whacko :D But really imagine having an mp3 player/ phone/ anything else packed into those mammoth sized breast implants...

Hmm...

Sorry i was getting carried away :) But as it turns out as all things i think, even this crazy idea was thought before me by some whackjob at "BT Laboratories". They thought of placing the mp3 player in one boob and the storage device on the other. Bluetooth connectivity will ensure that the headphones will be the only thing you will require. And in their words - "It is now very hard for me to think of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful."

But before i found out that there does exist a world filled with whackjobs like me, I was really thinking through the practicalities of such a thing. It seems over 3,00,000 women (including men who wanna be women) a year get breast augmentations in the US alone. Take the whole world and that leads to atleast 5,00,000/year. That seems like a decent target market.

But more importantly lets think of how this thing should work. I was thinking that one could easily squeeze in a cellular device in one and the mp3 player + storage in the other. So you could have one of those futuristic looking headphones on your ears which will let you play music or take calls all connected through bluetooth. But how does one dial numbers or select songs. This is quite a tricky business. The BT labs guy was suggesting a wrist device, but i doubt women will ever wear bulky wrist devices. The best system would be voice-enabled; however present systems are very poor and would not be cost effective. Hence, I believe we can have a touch based mechanism, similar to the click-wheel, on the bluetooth headset. But how do u know what you are selecting - the results will be returned through voice of course! But indeed this system is insanely boring, one definitely needs a simple voice-enabled system.

So there you go you get a free mp3 player & phone with your boob job. Tada!!! Even the poor porn star can tune into her favorite radio channel while she gets humped.

On a more serious note, one could embed even smarter devices like sensors and gps units. The sensors could monitor presence of breast cancer and heart rates. And when one goes into a critical condition, a distress signal can be sent to medical authorities along with GPS coordinates.

So it all makes a lot of sense right - nah i m just kidding; i wrote this post just to have a great laugh myself. But you never know..... There will be a day when every woman will get a smart breast implant once they get over 18 or something and the world will become a very beautiful place indeed ;-)






















p.s. : The author of this post has no affixation with over-sized breasts. Seriously...

A movie and a game based on a movie

The name of the movie which i have been trying to recollect for ages.... "Strange Days" (1995). Oh my what a movie, sorry what an idea!!! The concept is mind-blowing. A device which records all the sensations and neural activity of an individual and lets anybody replay all the events experienced.

SPOILER AHEAD: This concept is taken to the extreme in which a girl is tied to a bed by the assailant (man) who is recording his brain. Then he slits the girls throat and places another device which would play the recording live on her brain; so whatever the man experiences, the woman would. As the girl bleeds, the man starts raping the girl. The girl, oblivious to the blood oozing from her throat, experiences the cruel and chilling pleasure of a rapist. Hence, when the the man reaches his climax so has the woman and with the sudden jerks she experiences she dies.
SPOILER ENDS.

The weird thing is that although there is no nudity in the movie on TV, its U rated on Tata Sky. I can bet you don't want to be watching this movie with your kids, parents or girlfriend ;-)

On a much much lighter note i watched "Ghajini". Class movie! Aamir Khan is one of those rare actors who has talent. The remaining Khans are all just wasting our time if not theirs. But i was wondering how amazing it would be to be play a game based on the movie. Unfortunately as always i wasn't the only smart ass who realized this as FXLabs Studios will be developing it for Eros International. The graphics and animation seem to be not bad.

But what i am all enthu about is the gameplay. What is it to develop a game in which the protagonist suffers from short-term memory loss, while most gamers suffer from no such weakness :-P It beats me how can one make an engaging game which can capture the essence of the film. Well one things for sure it will be one heck of an action game and i would luv it to have much more blood n gore than the movie :-P Mwuhahahhahaha

The best part would be if the unlockables would be the dance sequences and item numbers. There should be close-ups and camera hovering while the 3D Jiah Khan (with even larger assets) and Asin perform dance steps. YUM!!!

The game i heard was to be released on the 28th Dec but ab tak koi news hi nahi :( I am sure i will buy it even if it gets half good reviews.

Mallu beauty and wittyness

Kudos to Parvathy Omanakuttan for grabbing the runner-up title in the Miss world International. Sad she couldn't get the title but it makes me immensely proud that a Mallu girl from Mumbai actually got so far. Its gotta be her amazing wittyness and sharp mind and also her lovely smile.

All that remains is getting her phone no. :-P

Holidays

I believe that holidays are that time of the year, when i learn the most. It gives me time to think and reflect upon a wide spectrum of issues and wonders of this world. I get to watch such amazing movies and i have such a great fancy for watching movies. They are just so fantastic!! Its one of the purest and most beautiful ways of putting an idea across. :D

btw u must watch "The Holiday" - great movie!!! The perfect Christmas movie.

The Return of Christ

Any religious Christian (one who visits the church regularly) would know that the priest always talks about the return of our savior Jesus Christ and that we await his return. The Son of Man himself said that he would return to chose the "good" from the "bad". And that there would be very few who would still be following the principles he laid with sincerity, as most of them would be filled with evil spirits of greed, hatred and jealousy.

However, this makes me wonder if that this is all just a figurative way of telling us the people who inhabit this world, to transform our fellow inhabitants and lead them to to the correct path and rid this world of all evils.

To understand what i am saying recollect the Last Supper, [Matthew 26:26-28]

While they were eating, Jesus took a piece of bread, gave a prayer of thanks, broke it, and gave it to his disciples. "Take and eat it," he said; "this is my body."

Then he took a cup, gave thanks to God, and gave it to them. "Drink it, all of you," he said; "this is my blood, which seals God's covenant, my blood poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

And we all imitate this ritual every Sunday to receive the holy communion. Hence, we all have been blessed with a part of Christ's very own body, blood and soul. Hence, when the Son of Man says that he shall return to this world, what he would have meant is that through the collective spirit of all those who protect his spirit in themselves, he shall return to once again rule this world. Not that he would appear in flesh and blood a single human, but as a collective spirit to rid the world of all evils.

So, we all must get rid of all ills that have plagued our society and bring about the change that has been eagerly awaited for centuries. It is for us to bring change to this world and when we all put a collective effort, with the blessings of our Lord, that change will sweep this world so rapidly that it will take those filled with evil by surprise.

To that day i dream of....

A couple of Ideas

Both these stuff are related to Computer Science. So it would most probably seem pointless to people not well versed in it.

1. Convergence of operating systems for mobile phones

The problem is that we right now have monolithic operating systems on our phones. So a Nokia phone can run only Symbian; HTC can only run Windows Mobile & the fucking iPhone runs only Apple stuff. That is the operating sytem is linked to the hardware. This results in issues for application developers; as they would need to replicate their application development for all the prominent environments to gain sufficient users.

One solution, would be to let our mobile phone to load any OS we want it too; just like we do for our PCs. This would require the development of a microkernel (hypervisor) on mobile phones. Well this obviously was much much more complex than what i expected :-P

2. Smart compression of web pages to reduce bandwidth usage

Lets consider the example of a blog. The only thing that changes, usually, is the text (post entry). The template reamins the same as you browse a blog. So rather that loading the html page, you should just load the text. The essence is that one should only be loading the difference in the pages and the construction of the actual html code would be handled by the browser on the clients side.

A better use would be in the case of the advertisements which exist on almost every page we visit nowadays. Rather than loading the advertisement every time I press "Next" or browse some other page of the same web site (example - a news portal), i can cache the ad and just load where it needs to be displayed on the page. Usually, the loading of the ad takes a significant time of the total page loading.

The advertisers too will have no issues as the ad will be present even before the complete text has been loaded. The user too isnt suffering anything as we are just loading the text and additional objects (pictures, etc.). hence surfing pages of websites, maintained by the same server will become much faster and would also reduce a significant amount of the bandwidth used. Its a win-win situation for almost everyone. The only catch is that there needs to be "sufficient" cache. But, we already allocate "sufficient" cache, its just that we dont utilize it properly. This will let you improve the use of the cache memory.


Any comments are always welcome :-)

Insuring your job hmmm....

After seeing a depressing photo of "extremely pretty" air hostesses on the TOI front page, made me wonder why we cant insure our jobs. There MUST be a very good reason why we see no need to handle over the headache to an insurer.

I agree one can always deposit his money and invest that "smartly" to take care of any untoward incident which leads to one losing his/her job.

But wouldn't be better if i cover your "job security" by assuring at least 75% of your salary for a year, 50% for the 2nd & 25% for the 3rd till you find the correct job (rather than desperately joining a low-profile company). Obviously the salary to be used should be the basic pay you were receiving when you were fired. This could be very useful suppose you get involved in an accident and the company considers you a liability it doesn't want to bear. You and your family can live with almost similar life-styles without much worry. Also, this would encourage bolder decisions to be taken by employees rather than always being conservative and fearful of being axed.

But obviously you need to keep putting monthly or annual payments which go to the premium of the contract.

Theres got to be a catch somewhere as it must be difficult for the insurer to assess risk. But it seems quite straightforward to me. One always has ratings for established companies and one can always assess the track record of an individual.

One possibility is that since you are always interested in operating only in the middle-income earning groups, it could be extremely difficult to work with low-income group as assessing risk would be almost impossible. Also, the high-income group would always consider themselves to be smarter investors.

Even then it seems to be quite a viable idea. Then why not have it??? hmmm...